The Examined Life, Part Deux...The Power of Words

Here is my disclaimer before you read any further. I am by no means perfect, and do not want to portray myself as such and I hesitate to write things like this for fear of coming across as a hypocrite. But if you will read this with the knowledge that these are things I think about in terms of myself and not necessarily anyone else, then my hope is that you will read these words and understand the spirit in which they are meant and maybe it will spark a debate within your own mind.

I believe in the power of words. I believe in their power to hurt, degrade, dehumanize and to diminish. I also believe in their power to uplift, enlighten, comfort and strengthen. I believe this as strongly as I believe anything. And as such I believe that one’s words about oneself should be carefully considered. I have fallen into the trap of self deprecating speech to fit in or to be “real” before, and I usually leave those situations feeling mightily disappointed in my choices. This means that I hardly ever say things like “I am too stupid to do that”, or “I am not pretty”, or “Look at how fat I am?” However, I may say something like “I do not know”, or “This blemish makes me feel uncomfortable”, or “I am not as fit as I want to be”. Those are just statements of fact and not judgments. The truth is that whether it is from watching what I say about myself or from true self esteem; I think I am smart, cute, and fully capable. So why should I pretend anything less. And I wish with all my heart that all people felt the same way, but most especially women. I don’t know what it is…cultural mores, the media, or just centuries of ingrained gender inequality issues…but women seem to be the worst at tearing themselves and each other down.

And while we are talking about words, let us take a moment to think about images. Let us all make a pact to not buy in to the media engendered bias about what the perfect woman looks like. It is all smoke and mirrors anyway. But it is a magic trick that has thoroughly permeated every ounce of our existence, so much so that we live quiet lives filled with dissatisfaction, obsessing about body image and never quite feeling worthy or valid. If we don’t stop the insanity for ourselves, I guarantee no one else is going to do it for us.

I want to share a few links that speak to this subject, if you have the time I highly recommend checking them out, especially the article posted on CJane today. And I challenge everyone to examine themselves and their speech patterns and to consider making the choice to only speak positively about oneself, in fact let us take it one step further and vow to choose to say 5 positive things about ourselves every day.

I will start…

1. I have shiny, soft hair
2. I keep a tidy house
3. I exercised today which makes me feel healthy and strong
4. I did not lose my cool at work today when working with unkind co-workers.
5. I was kind to the birds today and fed them some bird seed.

CJane link (April 6, 2011 post)

Miss Representation link

“Be Impeccable With Your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz